Model Learning Yourself

Being an adult model of an eager, acquisitive learner is among the most important things we can do as parents. Demonstrate your own curiosity; show that you enjoy discovering new things. Ask questions more than demonstrating that you already know something. And real questions, not just “tests”, where you already know the answer. When visiting the zoo, for example, you might say “I wonder what Coyotes eat when they can’t find mice to catch?” rather than something “lecturey,” like “Coyotes eat mice, which keeps down the population of mice.” I have also found that being a bit tentative is useful. It allows the child to feel respected and to be the parent’s colleague instead of subordinate when the parent says “My experience is...; what is yours?” rather than the often cocksure pronouncement.

Be sure to be honest; don’t try to fake enthusiasm, don’t be “learned.” Be curious; not teacher as much as co-learner. Try not to ask fake questions, only real, when you really don’t know. Admit that it might be difficult for you. Be a colleague. Show how you figure things out. Look for alternatives. Wonderful conversations with a child begin with the parent saying, genuinely, “What do you think about ...,”  and then being respectful of the answer.